men will make you weak because they know they can

You have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire existence and I could really kill myself now for pushing you away. (pakipot pa kse amf) I was surprised hearing your voice and you waking me up to check up on me, oh well I was still alive with a big regret of how I treated you the way I did, it was so stupid of me, trying so hard to find that feeling of strong connection between us and later did I realized that I was in fact wanting someone else.  But you’re keeping in touch so I think you haven’t lost your interest and I didn’t totally blew it… so I guess next week we can start over again?

Anyway since I was so pissed off at myself I laid down in bed the whole day just listening to music, emotera mode.  It’s never easy turning my back into something so special and addictive but I have to because I should know better and I hate how I have to really struggle not to give in even how much I really want to.  I can do this!  It’s funny how I literally look in front of the mirror to remind myself I deserve better.  I am getting weirder everyday!

Below are my songs for the week or maybe for the whole month!

Misery – Maroon 5

So scared of breaking it that you won’t let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters I won’t ever send
Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper then they seem
You’d rather cover up I’d rather let them be
So let me be and I’ll set you free

Your salty skin and how it mixes in with mine
The way it feels to be completely intertwined
It’s not that I didn’t care it’s that I didn’t know
It’s not what I didn’t feel, it’s what I didn’t show

Need you now – Lady Antebellum

Another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one I’m a little drunk
And I need you now said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control and I need you now

And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now guess I’d rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

Till I Get Over You – Michelle Branch

We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice

chaque fois que tu t’en vas
You just bring me down
je pretends que tout va bien
So I’m counting my tears
Till I get over you

More songs

Day 29 – Last song syndrome

“Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were)”

Listen here

I saw it in the news
You told me they were wrong
And I stood up for you
‘Cause I believed you were the one

You had all the chances in the world
To let me know the truth
What the hell’s wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I’m going through?
Your eyes stare and they’re staring right through me
You’re right there but it’s like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

I’m so mad at you right now
I can’t even find the words
And you’re on the way down
I can’t wait to see you burn
You try to make me hate that girl
When I should be hating you
What the hell’s wrong with you?

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I’m going through?
Your eyes stare and they’re staring right through me
You’re right there but it’s like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

Nothing can save you now that it’s over
I guess that you’ll find out when you’re no one
Don’t say you’re sorry now ’cause I just don’t care

Nothing can save you now, nothing
Nothing can save you now, nothing

Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I’m going through?
You’re eyes stare and they’re staring right through me
You’re right there but it’s like you never knew me

Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

Day 22 – A song to match your mood.

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wondering when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch ’til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

All you need is love is a lie cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it’s nobody’s fault
Cause there’s nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch ’til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ’til your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split screen sadness
We share the sadness

John Mayer – Split Screen Sadness

Day 03 — A song that makes you cry

or at least made you cry last month…

Athlete – Wires

listen here

You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
You got tears, making tracks
I got tears, that are scared of the facts

Running, down corridors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
I see hope is here, in a plastic box
I’ve seen Christmas lights, reflect in your eyes

You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
There’s dry blood, on your wrist
Your dry blood on my fingertip

Running, down corridors through, automatic doors
Got to get to you, got to see this through
First night of your life, curled up on your own
Looking at you now, you would never know

I heard this song when Elena was breaking up with Stephen, plus Damon’s eyes and how sorry he was made me more cry.  Oh well I’m a cry baby, nothing new on that, whether it be a cheesy movie, and moving song, a church song, petty little things or the like…  my tears seems to fall down so easily.

How hard can it be…  letting go of someone you really love so much just because you don’t want to be selfish anymore.  Sacrificing your happiness and the only thing that make sense to you for the sake of your other love ones.

I wish a have a vampire boyfriend! hahaha