Today is Public Holiday here in Singapore. The holiday is to celebrate the Muslim and Malay Hari Raya Aidilfitri Holiday or literally “Celebration Day of Fasting”.

I was on my way home and I saw a lot of Men at the MRT wearing this outfit that you will see distinctively with Muslim Men.  There’s  near Mosque at our place and on my way I saw a lot of Muslims sitting and standing outside the Mosque, mostly the Women are sitting inside a tent and Men are standing outside and in the surrounds of the Mosque and heard some I guess praise songs. This was the first time I’ve really seen how they celebrate it. I’ve known it as Eid al-Fitr as my father and mother used to work at Saudi and in my home country they also call it Eid al-Fitr and I’m pretty sure it’s also Public Holiday there as well.

Here’s a photo this morning from the Mosque near our place.

Sa hindi inaaasahang pagtatagpo ng mga mundo
May minsan lang na nag-dugtong, damang-dama na ang ugong nito
Di pa ba sapat ang sakit at lahat na hinding-hindi ko ipararanas saýo
Ibinubunyag ka ng iyong matang sumisigaw ng pag-sinta

Ba’t ‘di pa patulan ang pag-suyong nag-kulang
Tayong umaasang hilaga’t kanluran
Ikaw ang hantungan at bilang kanlungan mo
Ako ang sasagip saýo

Saan nga ba patungo, nakayapak at nahihiwagaan
Ang bagyo ng tadhana ay dinadala ako sa init ng bisig mo
Ba’t di pa sabihin ang hindi mo maamin
Ipauubaya na lang ba ‘to sa hangin
‘Wag mong ikatakot ang bulong ng damdamin mo
Naririto ako’t nakikinig saýo

Tadhana – Up Dharma Down

LISTEN HERE

A juvenile camwhore

at an early age she really knows how to rock a pose

I so miss her everyday and her funny dance moves

One thing I don’t understand with men, especially with married men who works abroad and far away from their wives is that they cannot control their sexual urge. I only knew a very few who doesn’t go for escorts, adult services, adult personals or all this dating stuffs offline or online, but when I ask them do they love their wives and if so why do they do it, I always get the answer that they love their wives very much and it just happens and it’s just sex and it meant nothing. Maybe it meant nothing for them but it meant everything to their wives even if there’s no feelings involved.

“It is just sex and it means nothing” is a very lame excuse! There was this one I talked to about this stuff, I asked him what if it was his wife who did the same thing, wouldn’t it kill him? He said definitely it will and suddenly told me I made him feel bad but before that he was really defending that there’s nothing wrong with what he does because everyone does it. The hell with everyone, it doesn’t makes it right just because majority do it.  Besides the fact that they cheat their wives, they also risk themselves from getting sick.  Men are sometimes really stupid!

“How do you mend a broken heart? The answer is, you can’t. Cos every time you feel like everything’s fine and you can face the world again, life finds a way to break your heart again. But this time, the breaks are so deep, you can’t mend it anymore. And when you can’t mend it anymore, that’s the scariest thing.”

If I look back to my life last year, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, I would always think why this had happened to me? What’s wrong with me? I totally messed up.

I’m trying to move forward, I am earning good money now, I can settle everything back in Manila and just start over with Maisie with me, surely it will not be easy, it’s not easy being away from her, but I will get there, and I hope sooner.

After everything that had happened in my life, I couldn’t seem to trust anyone, I always get so paranoid, and I always feel like guys are all the same, same stupid promises that they never seem to keep, same sweet talks to get themselves inside your pants, same bullshits.

A good friend told me, that if it hurts more, I should stay on it, face it and don’t run from it and you’ll get numb, until it doesn’t hurt anymore, crazy as it may seem, this too shall pass.

As much as I am still hurting, I am happy, meeting you was fate, the only man in my life now who believes in me so much, in so many ways, whose helping me better myself, who is always there, the best friend I can ever have, the man who accepts everything that I am, the one who says bluntly to my face all my faults, who showed me everything I need to learn about life, how can I push him away?  I always do and he always stays  I’m such a mess and he’s beautiful.

I was heartbroken and it was such a blessing,  I’ve grown so much stronger and met someone who really gives a shit, and even if I can’t really have him now and I know it’s not going to be easy, I’m keeping the faith that our time will come, so for now it’s more than enough that he is always around for me.